Date : Friday, 8 January 2016
Time : 20:23
Title : why i broke up with that sad soppy bastard i spent 9 miserable months with

CREDITS TO: The BOLDE


1. Your future husband brings out the best in you. An asshole brings out the crazy, stalker bitch in you.
When I was together with that jerk for almost three months, he told me that actually when he was trying to get with me, he still was in a relationship with his (now) ex-girlfriend. When he was supposed to be texting her, meeting her, spending time with her and so on, it was all with me instead. This doesn't make me feel like the "better" woman or a winner, it only makes me feel like a substitute for his neediness.

2. Your future husband values commitment and partnership. An asshole is just trying to hang out.
He never really viewed me as a human being, and would only hang out with me whenever he felt like it. His idea of spending time together means coercing me into playing random video games and MMORPGs with him the ENTIRE time together. While I enjoy games and all, I also want to really be with you as a person and grow together and all. Not "work hard to marry each other in MapleStory".

3. Your future husband sees your success as his success. An asshole needs to take you down a notch.
This is especially true because I remember my GPA in school has always been higher than his, and one night he actually rang me up on my mobile phone to start a fight with me because "SO WHAT IF YOUR GPA IS HIGHER THAN MINE?! THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU AMAZING! YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT!"

Okay the story goes like this - I was selected to be part of the Student Leaders team for freshmen orientation and he wasn't, even though we both signed up. There are criteria needed to be met before being a SL and one of them is your GPA. The very same day, he had received an email from our lecturer regarding a "revision Q&A lecture session for weaker students" and I hadn't. All I did was tell him I didn't receive it, and try to encourage him in doing better. He got overly-sensitive and lashed out at me and it soon turned into an all-out quarrel. Stupid.

4. Your future husband thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. An asshole’s eyes keep wandering.
That jerk would always be going on and on about how so-and-so looks amazing in that dress and how which girl he walked past on campus that day had amazing legs (he has a leg fetish - and I'm not judgmental about it, I'm okay with it I swear). He would even go so far as to tell me which porn star has the best assets and how I'm inadequate. Yes, he would actually point out my inadequacies and use them against me when we're quarreling. Childish? Very.

5. Your future husband makes you feel secure. An asshole makes you want to check his phone.
I don't know how true his boastful stories are (yes even my family finds him to be very boastful), but he was always going on and on about how he was getting all the ladies in school and how he has "no lack of suitors" and how so many girls are falling for him and shit ... naturally, in the beginning of the 'relationship', it made me scared and all, but over time I grew immune to his boasting. Whenever we quarreled (which was very often mind you, he's so quarrelsome and always finding fault in every damned thing in other humans and I'm no exception), he would say stuff like "I'm not going to put in effort for you anymore. I'll talk to some other girls instead." Lol.

6. Your future husband prioritizes your happiness. An asshole prioritizes his own happiness.
He'll never ask me "what would you like? What do you want to do today? Are you okay with such an arrangement?" Not even once. He has even actually told me "I can't bring myself to spend so much time with you because my games give me more pleasure and more company." Look, I'm cool with the whole gamer-dude-thing that guys have. I'll even play a game or two with you. I might even beat you at it if I'm good. But to say that was a huge turnoff and of course, it's hurtful to hear that from someone. He had no actual goals and he would never study for our exams in school, instead choosing his time to play video/computer games. When I ask him if he wants to study with me, he'll follow me to the library and then fall asleep there and wake up claiming he's got a headache, he's unwell, he's very ill and lethargic ... blah!

I also remember being forced into downloading random games into my laptop and playing with him for hours when I could have been doing better things. Whenever I refused to game with him/go online, he would argue with me or give me the cold shoulder. Crazy.

Also, I understand that every relationship has their own rules. But he was possessive to the point of obsession and I can't stand people like that. He actually forced me to block one of my best male friends on Twitter and even threatened to kill my friend (like legit don a mask and commit murder). After all the physical abuse I went through with him, I feared for my friend's life and blocked him, an action which I really regret until today, because our friendship now (although salvaged somehow, by my current boyfriend heehee) is a little strained and it's sorta hard to go back to where we were before.

7. Your future husband enjoys conversation with you. An asshole just wants you to be quiet.
It's against the law for me have an opinion on things. With my current boyfriend, we have fun discussions and debates, but it's always good-natured and at the end of the day we know we'll always have each others' backs despite our differing views. But with that S.O.B., if I disagree with something he says, I'm doomed because then it turns into an actual quarrel and not healthy conversation anymore. Communicating with him was extremely difficult because he would read WAY TOO MUCH into things and force his beliefs onto me, and he would come up with the worst conclusions of something that made absolutely no sense to anyone else except himself. Don't bother trying to tell him he's wrong, because he's too egoistic to listen.

8. Your future husband makes plans with you in advance. An asshole always pops up out of nowhere the same day.
Plans with that jerk? In advance? LOL I couldn't even celebrate his birthday with him because he didn't want to, and when I planned a surprise for him in school the next day he actually texted me to say he hated surprises and when he saw the cake he was on the verge of smashing it to the ground. Definitely very appreciative.

Then on Valentine's Day he kept saying how after dinner we would be going for ice cream or a movie but in the end after dinner he suddenly went "Look, I'm too tired all of a sudden, so let me send you home." So boring ...

Our time spent together is almost always at his house, with him playing games and me doing my own thang. No interaction at all.

9. Your future husband creates a feeling of forward momentum in the relationship. An asshole wants to keep things exactly as they are.
Five months into the 'relationship' with that jerk I was ABSOLUTELY BORED OUT OF MY MIND because nevermind the fact that he wanted me to give up clubbing and drinking (which I didn't, obviously. Why would I do that for someone so demanding?), he didn't even want to do anything fun like going out to the movies, going out someplace for dinner, going out shopping/window-shopping ... he would always "come to my place". The only times we actually went out was because he wanted something extra at the end of the day at a cheap budget hotel. He had ZERO intentions of spicing things up in the 'relationship' and had zero plans for the future. He only wanted to "form his own DotA team to earn money by winning the WCG". And according to many friends, he's a shit player who refuses to interact and cooperate with anyone on the team. Lazy person with no real goals and a shitty team player, awesome combination.

10. Your future husband makes it clear he’s into you. An asshole keeps you wondering.
We quarreled so often that I started to wonder why exactly we were together. Nothing satisfies this guy and he said the darndest and stupidest things that made me question more than once why the fuck I was with a little boy and not a man.

11. Your future husband makes you feel chased. An asshole is someone you’re always struggling to pin down.
Apart from quarreling with me constantly, he had no qualms about ignoring me for hours on end just because he was in one of his moods again. When I ask if I did or said something wrong to offend him, he would reply with shit like "Figure it out on your own." Sometimes he would even go so far as to compare me with his ex-girlfriend and so on. Yes, he PMSes worse than a little girl.

12. Your future husband consistently reaches out to you. An asshole goes radio silent for days.
See point 11 above.

13. Your future husband texts you just to check in. An asshole texts you when he wants something.
See point 9 above.

14. Your future husband asks about you and your life. An asshole couldn’t care less.
Growing up in a family that's rather traditional and somewhat superstitious, on the first and the last day of the seventh lunar month (a.k.a the Hungry Ghost Festival) I'm not really allowed out of the house until too late at night. When I casually brought this up to him, he started flaring up at me and saying "I hate it when people are so superstitious. Like my ex. Why do people believe in such nonsense?" Okay first of all, why bring your ex into the picture? Secondly, people are free to believe what they want to believe and practice.

Because I'm Peranakan, I'm able to communicate fairly okay in Malay with my Malay friends (of whom I have a fair bit and I love dearly). I love all my friends and I don't really care about their race or religion, in fact I respect everyone's ideas and beliefs even if they're atheists or agnostic or whatever. I like to know about various religions and races and I find culture interesting. I do my best to respect all boundaries and I cannot stand it if someone is rude to someone else simply because of differing races/religions/ideals/beliefs.

Well, he is exactly like one of those humans most of the Internet commonly hate nowadays. He thinks Allahu Akbar is a terrorist's cry and makes rude racist jokes (especially about Malays/Muslims) all the time, even in front of me. When my sister started learning the ways of Islam and learning to wear the hijab, he actually said stuff like "Wtf? Are you going to do that to? Please don't, because I'll run in the opposite direction." Fucktard.

15. Your future husband is great in real life. An asshole looks good only on paper, if that.
But he looks like crap ...

16. Your future husband treats you like a priority. An asshole makes you feel like a backup plan.
See related points above.

17. Your future husband does nice little things for you, just because. An asshole doesn’t.
I've cried more times than I can remember smiling in all the nine months that we were together so there you go.

18. Your future husband wants to show you off to his friends and family. An asshole hides you from them.
He barely even left his house LOL ...